Let’s head down to the bottom of Bikini Bottom with SpongeBob quotes. This lovable and funny show is full of quotable lines that are so fun to get back to!
As I was putting this post together, I realized how incredibly sassy the characters. Squidward gets the sassiest of lines, honestly. I hope you have the best time getting nostalgic with lines from our favorite childhood show.
SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, Sandy, Mr. Krabs, Plankton and Mrs. Puff are here to take you on a crazy ride with their enigmatic minds. Here are the best famous and funny SpongeBob quotes for you:
SpongeBob Quotes
SpongeBob: “Patrick, you’re a genius!”
Patrick: “Yeah, I get called that a lot.”
SpongeBob: “What? A genius?”
Patrick: “No, Patrick.”
“Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets.”
― SpongeBob
“Stupidity isn’t a virus, but it sure is spreading like one.”
― Sandy
“Home is where you’re surrounded by other critters that care about you.”
― Sandy
“I’m so loyal, I don’t mind sleeping out in the cold, hard ground while Captain Krabs sleeps in his warm, dry tent.”
― SpongeBob
“Squidward… I used your clarinet to unclog my toilet!”
― SpongeBob
“You never really know the true value of a moment, until it becomes a memory.”
― SpongeBob
“You can’t fool me. I listen to public radio!”
― Squidward
“I’m ugly and I’m proud!”
― SpongeBob
“Did you smell it? That smell. A kind of smelly smell. The smelly smell that smells… smelly.”
― Mr. Krabs
“Being grown up is boring. Besides, I don’t ‘get’ jazz.”
― Patrick
“Excuse me, sir, but you’re sitting on my body, which is also my face.”
― SpongeBob
“Can you give SpongeBob his brain back, I had to borrow it for the week.”
― Patrick
“I might as well sleep for 100 years or so.”
― Squidward
“The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.”
― Patrick
“Sometimes we have to go deep inside ourselves to solve our problems.”
― Patrick
“This is not your average, everyday darkness. This is… ADVANCED darkness.”
― SpongeBob
“Goodbye everyone, I’ll remember you all in therapy.”
― Plankton
“Dumb people are always blissfully unaware of how dumb they really are.”
― Patrick
Funny SpongeBob Quotes
“I’ll have you know that I stubbed by toe last week and only cried for 20 minutes.“
― SpongeBob
“Can I be excused for the rest of my life?”
― SpongeBob
“A 5 letter word for happiness – MONEY.”
― Mr. Krabs
“Gary, I’m absorbing his blows like I’m made of some sort of spongy material.”
― SpongeBob
“Pull your pants up, Patrick. We’re going home.”
― SpongeBob
“I was five years old and my father gave me a dollar. I loved that dollar. Loved it like a brother. Me and that dollar went everywhere together.”
― Mr. Krabs
“We shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request.”
― Mr. Krabs
SpongeBob: “I used to have a dream.”
Mr. Krabs: “Yeah? I used to have a kidney stone. Everything passes eventually.”
“Hello. You’ve reached the house of unrecognized talent.”
― Squidward
“Can I have everybody’s attention?… I have to use the bathroom.”
― Patrick
“It’s not always what you say that matters, sometimes it’s what you don’t say.”
― Mr. Krabs
“I order the food, you cook the food. The customer gets the food. We do that for 40 years, and then we die.”
― Squidward
“No one can change a person, but someone can be a reason for that person to change.”
― SpongeBob
“You don’t need a license to drive a sandwich.”
― SpongeBob
“What doesn’t kill you, usually succeeds in the second attempt.”
― Mr. Krabs
“Me, aggressive?! How dare you?! Maybe you’re right… I command you to help me be a nicer person!”
― Plankton
“Too bad SpongeBob’s not here to enjoy SpongeBob not being here.”
― Squidward
“I can’t see my forehead!”
― Patrick
“Nonsense, my vocabulary is infinitely expanding!”
― Patrick
“Hey, if I close my eyes it doesn’t seem so dark.”
― SpongeBob
“Well, the way I see it, there are three possibilities: One, you stole it; two, you stole it; or three, you stole it!”
― Mr. Krabs
“Well, it’s no secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby adding another secret to their secret collection of secrets, secretly.”
― SpongeBob
“I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I definitely don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it…IIII NEEED ITTTT!!!!“
― SpongeBob
“We don’t need television… not as long as we have our imagination.”
― SpongeBob
“2000 years later”
― Narrator
Iconic SpongeBob Quotes
“Wake me up when I care.”
― Squidward
“Always follow your heart unless your heart is bad with directions.”
― SpongeBob
“I’ll be there faster than a barefoot jackrabbit on a hot, greasy griddle, in the middle of August!”
― Sandy
“Give to the Children’s fund? What have the children ever done for me?”
― Mr. Krabs
“That’s it, mister! You just lost your brain privileges!”
― Plankton
“If you believe in yourself and with a tiny pinch of magic, all your dreams can come true.”
― SpongeBob
“If I were to die right now in a fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend… Then it would just be alright.”
― SpongeBob
“Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end!”
― Patrick
“Oh well, I guess I’m not wearing any pants today!”
― SpongeBob
“It’s just a cruel reminder that I’m single and likely to remain that way forever.”
― Squidward
“Well, it may be stupid, but it’s also dumb.”
― Patrick
“Ravioli, ravioli, give me the formuoli.”
― SpongeBob
“Knowledge cannot replace friendship.”
― Patrick
“You’re nothing but pure evil… just like newspaper comics.”
― Sandy
“You need six hundred to pass, you got six.”
― Mrs. Puff
“Another day, another migraine.”
― Squidward
“I was trying to tell you that I was choking on snow but the snow melted and turned into water and I drank all the water now I’m better.”
― Patrick
Read Next: 60+ YODA QUOTES THAT LOVE YOU WILL